My old blueprint has been working overtime the past few weeks so I am trying to trick it now. I haven’t written my blog since my Week 15 entry and if I don’t do Week 20 it will become another causality of my old blueprint. So…..I’m trying to hoodwink my subby. If I do Week 20, I can go back to Weeks 16 to 19 and fill in the gaps. It won’t seem like such an insurmountable task if Week 20 is completed.
I am happy to say that using guilt as a tool has again, caused me to remind myself that I HAVE TO DO IT NOW! I promised that I would! My integrity is at stake here! I really don’t want to disappoint myself. I DO IT NOW! No more excuses….I am coming to the end of the MKMMA course and I cannot trip up; I know I’m at the crossroads and my life will never be the same.
It was incredibly powerful for me to calculate the Springs I have left to the end of my lifetime see it represented in a timeline. Wow! I don’t have a minute to waste…so much to do in such a short time.
I’m not afraid of death…I have always felt that the energy that is Colleen, or anyone for that matter, cannot be destroyed and will continue in some form or other. I remember a very prominent Australian writer and radio personality, Phillip Adams once say that he didn’t understand why people were so frightened of death because we can’t remember anything before we were born, so it stands to reason that it will be exactly the same after we are dead. For some reason, that seemed to make a lot of sense to me.
So, after some thought and with the knowledge that it’s not death that makes me fearful, what does? Fear of regret! I am not going to reach the end of my life regretting that I didn’t do all the things on my bucket list or make a difference in the lives of my family and others. I must use my fear as a tool and make the rest of my life amazing.
The tool of anger is going to be useful to me as well. I am so angry with myself for wasting precious time on things that have not enriched my life, my families’ lives or the lives of anyone else. I know that I have to forgive myself, learn from what has happened and expand my comfort zone by getting on with it! I know what to do….I DO IT NOW!
So……now, I promise to destroy procrastination with action, have faith and confidence and be aware of the consequences of courting idleness. I must live this day as if it is my last as know I am a woman of love and greatness.