Week 20 – How many Springs?

My old blueprint has been working overtime the past few weeks so I am trying to trick it now.  I haven’t written my blog since my Week 15 entry and if I don’t do Week 20 it will become another causality of my old blueprint. So…..I’m trying to hoodwink my subby.  If I do Week 20, I can go back to Weeks 16 to 19 and fill in the gaps.  It won’t seem like such an insurmountable task if Week 20 is completed.

I am happy to say that using guilt as a tool has again, caused me to remind myself that I HAVE TO DO IT NOW!  I promised that I would!  My integrity is at stake here!  I really don’t want to disappoint myself.  I DO IT NOW!  No more excuses….I am coming to the end of the MKMMA course and I cannot trip up; I know I’m at the crossroads and my life will never be the same.

It was incredibly powerful for me to calculate the Springs I have left to the end of my lifetime see it represented in a timeline. Wow!  I don’t have a minute to waste…so much to do in such a short time.

I’m not afraid of death…I have always felt that the energy that is Colleen, or anyone for that matter, cannot be destroyed and will continue in some form or other.  I remember a very prominent Australian writer and radio personality, Phillip Adams once say that he didn’t understand why people were so frightened of death because we can’t remember anything before we were born, so it stands to reason that it will be exactly the same after we are dead.  For some reason, that seemed to make a lot of sense to me.

So, after some thought and with the knowledge that it’s not death that makes me fearful, what does?  Fear of regret!  I am not going to reach the end of my life regretting that I didn’t do all the things on my bucket list or make a difference in the lives of my family and others.  I must use my fear as a tool and make the rest of my life amazing.

The tool of anger is going to be useful to me as well.  I am so angry with myself for wasting precious time on things that have not enriched my life, my families’ lives or the lives of anyone else.  I know that I have to forgive myself, learn from what has happened and expand my comfort zone by getting on with it!  I know what to do….I DO IT NOW!

So……now, I promise to destroy procrastination with action, have faith and confidence and be aware of the consequences of courting idleness.  I must live this day as if it is my last as know I am a woman of love and greatness.

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Week 15 – The power of words

As a teacher, I have always understood the power of language. Our words can be used to hurt or to heal and we must be careful of the words we choose when speaking to others and ourselves (we all know that by now). We are all very aware, after participating in MKMMA, of the power of the words said to us as children. Our Blueprints are the collection of experiences throughout our lives and with those experiences have come the words people have used to “guide” us. Most of these people have been well meaning….have said things to try to keep us safe in one way or another. Many have no idea of the impact their words and actions have had on us throughout our lives. They can’t possibly have an understanding of how, what they have said has contributed to shaping the thoughts we have as adults. This is not said to blame…we are responsible for our own thought and we know we can control and change those thoughts but as responsible adults, we need to be aware of the subliminal messages we send to others, through our choice of words.
Much of the influences in our lives are subliminal. Again, as a teacher, I was very aware of the impact photographs, videos, stories and articles have had on how we think about ourselves and others. Our minds have been manipulated by the media since its inception and most of us have no idea how it has happened or even that it is still happening. Many of us would be offended to think that we are the product of manipulation by the media.
I love reading “The Greatest Salesman in the World,” it is one of the most powerful books I have ever read. I do feel, however, that we should be aware of the gender bias of the book and ensure we women change the language to include ourselves. It was written in a time that was dominated by men and men were, in the main, the breadwinners.
Times have changed. We all know that women participate in every facet of life now…..or do we? I have looked for motivational videos to show at training sessions. I love a good motivational video….usually leaves me in tears! I would challenge anyone to find many videos that do not have a gender bias towards men. It’s as though there are not any powerful, successful women in our societies. Please don’t misunderstand me, I don’t want to show videos that are biased towards women either, but it is almost impossible to find a video that has a good balance of both genders. We all need to see people like us becoming successful and that includes women seeing videos of successful, powerful women.
The language of “The Greatest Salesman in the World” that has caused me to think deeply on this. I have read the word “man” too many times and “woman” very seldom and I think that just as we delete the world “will” from the text halfway through the month, if you are a woman and you want your subby to know that you can be successful too, it will help to replace the word “man” with either “person” or “woman”, whichever is applicable.
Give it a try….if it doesn’t suit don’t bother doing it again. I have a friend who is very happy with using the word “man” constantly…she has her subby well under control. For me, it’s different. I have to send the right messages to my subby and let her know that, as a woman, I can be what I will to be!

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Week 14 – Living in Denial?

When I first read the part in Master Keys, Week 14 which discusses denial….I thought it meant that if you have a negative thought that you were denying, simply attaching the smallest amount of emotion to it can bring it about!  I got a little nervous about this!  There are things I don’t think about because they are negative factors in my life and, after reading this, I interpreted it to mean that because I don’t like to think about them, they must be emotional thoughts for me (and they are) and would be brought about anyway simply because I am emotional about them!  I was just a little distraught then and set about thinking how I could counteract this! Read on Collleen!

Thank goodness I didn’t spend too much time on this before reading on.

Denial is slow progress…..but good!

I quote, “….denial of unsatisfactory conditions will not bring about instant change.  A plant will remain visible for some time after its roots have been cut, but it will gradually fade away and eventually disappear……the withdrawal of your thought from the contemplation of unsatisfactory conditions will gradually but surely terminate these conditions.”

We often hear, “Oh, she’s just in denial!” and it is interpreted as a negative way to live.  I know I am in denial about some things…I don’t think about them.  I also know that I am actively working, persistently, lovingly and enthusiastically towards a new life that is beautiful and productive for myself and others.  I am working towards making a huge, positive contribution to the world!

I can now do that two ways….replace the negative thoughts with positive thoughts while work persistently on the things I need to do to be successful. And wipe away from my mind, the worry and concern I have about certain things in my life by denying them!

I love this stuff….I am now able to live in denial!

I am so grateful for this MKMMA experience.

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Week 13 – Finally!

My old blueprint has been working overtime the last couple of weeks and I have procrastinated about writing this blog.  It’s silly because not writing Week 13 has held me up from writing Week 14!

Anyway, here I am now and I feel good about writing.  I had to go back to Master Keys to re-familiarise myself with Week 13 and low and behold….I found some very powerful stuff!

In a previous blog, I mentioned that the old me was very good at shooting myself in the foot and when I was successful at something, could be anything, I became fearful that I could not keep it up which resulted in the slippery slide to failure.  Well here it is! Week 13/16 “if we fear disaster, as fear is a powerful form of thought, disaster will be the certain result of our thinking.  It is this form of thought which frequently sweeps away the result of many years of toil and effort.”

All my toil and effort, washed away by my fearful thinking!  I had to prove myself right so I kept thinking that nothing good could last for me and of course, it didn’t!

I had the same thoughts about my relationships with men!  I have continually thought that men couldn’t be trusted, they weren’t worthy of my respect and they would always let me down (sorry to all those wonderful men out there….I know you are there!)  My father had constantly let me down so I figured all men would be the same and I carried it with me for a lifetime! And of course, just as I predicted, I have been let down and disappointed every time!  What a waste of time and energy! Now I know that by finding happiness and harmony myself will allow me to make others happy, leaving me open to a relationship with a man based on mutual love, extreme liking, admiration and respect. Yippee….I can’t wait!

Week 13, I learned that The Universal Mind and I are one and that I must give in order to receive.  It makes sense that we are one.  If the Universal Mind is omnipresent (everywhere) then it must be within me (and everyone else) and if it is omnipotent then so am I all powerful and if it is omniscient then it must see all that I am and do.  It follows that, through my connection with  the Collective Consciousness or Universal Mind, I have the power to set in motion anything that I constantly think about.

Wow….we have been going over this stuff for 15 weeks now and and I have my Ah Ha moment, and the penny drops because I have procrastinated about writing my Week 13 blog!

We take something good from everything that happens.

I am so grateful that the Universal Mind and I are one…there’s my next Gratitude Card.

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Week 12 – I persist until I succeed

The past weeks have been the most challenging for me and I am so proud of myself that I have, not once, thought of giving up.  I have drawn the line in the sand for myself.  I know that completing the MKMM course is like a lifeline that has been thrown to me so, I persist until I succeed!

Last week, I wasn’t well and although I managed to do the MKMMA exercises in the morning, I missed the lunch and night exercises.  I felt absolutely terrible.  I felt as though I had let myself down.  It was a great lessone for me because now I know that I can’t let this go….it is my future and I will be letting down the Gal In The Glass if I do not complete the MKMMA course.  Feeling guilty, making excuses and walking away are not options for me any more.  I persist until I succeed.

I love the paragraph in Scroll 3 which says, “I was not delivered unto this world in defeat, nor does failure course in my veins.  I am not a sheep, waiting to be prodded by my shepherd.  I am a lion and I refuse to talk, to walk, to sleep with the sheep……The slaughterhouse of failure is not my destiny.”

So powerful!  The language of the Greatest Salesman is descriptive and emotive….I love it.  Reading this paragraph made me realise that  I no longer fit in with the herd.  There is an wonderous life ahead for me for I am a lion!  I persist until I succeed. I stand out from the crowd and am a great leader.

I have found a way that I am able to create emotion whenever I am reading The Greatest Salesman and my DMP.  Because Og Mandino’s language is so powerful and descriptive, I read it as though I am rehearsing for a Shakespearean play.  I have to inject emotions into the words as I want my performance is believable to the audience and also, to myself.  Before I found this, my reading was just repetition….something I was obligated to do.  I would try to get it over and done with as quickly as possible so I kept my promise to myself.  Now I find it is fun and much more simple, to find the emotions to go with the words by imagining I am a famous actor with a duty to my audience.

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Week 11 – Inductive Reasoning

I don’t know about anyone else, but i found the Inductive Reasoning section of the Master Keys difficult to grasp.

I found that I had to read the same section many times to understand what it was about.  Now, I’m usually a lazy reader.  If something is not written in a language I can easily understand, I don’t bother to read it.  I am not like that with Master Keys, though.  I have made a commitment to the MKMMA course and part of that commitment is to persist!  Persevere with everything that contributes to me becoming the person I will too be.

Actually, I find I’m enjoying the language….it is beautiful and therefore another reason to persist.  My vocabulary is increasing with every chapter as it is when I read The Greatest Salesman.

I shall persist until I succeed!

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Week 10 – I DO NOT shoot myself in the foot any longer!

“The ordinary person, who has no definite knowledge of cause and effect, is governed by their feelings or emotions.”

This is how, until recently, I have lived my life.  I have been governed by the effects of my thoughts and the effects have been my emotions and the turmoil the emotions have caused me.

Something happens and I make it mean something….when really it was only something that happened! There was no need to attach any meaning to it.  It should mean nothing to me….I should not draw any conclusions about others and myself from what has happened….

I think I’m confusing myself now!  I’ll have to tease out these thoughts a little further so they make sense to me and anyone who has persevered by reading this blog this far!

Something happens, I THINK something about it…..those thoughts cause emotions in me, which, in turn, cause me to behave a certain way.  A way I have been conditioned to behave through years of thinking and reacting to, thinking.

This is getting ridiculous….I’ll have to find an example……..I was studying to be a teacher when I was in my early 40s.  As a mature aged student I was doing very well….I had a very high grade point average in the beginning.  In the past, I had been in the way of thinking that I can do anything….but…..only for a certain amount of time….I couldn’t possibly maintain success and I must surely begin a slippery slide to failure, because that is the person I was!  I was always right!  I set about proving myself right….and how easy was THAT to do!  I can remember the feelings of quiet desperation.  The more I thought about it, the more I set about making it happen.At the end of my third year, I dudded out on an exam.  One bad result! I did everything wrong and instead of getting my usual high sixes or sevens,  I scored a nasty FOUR!.  This “event” was enough for me to draw the conclusion that THIS was the start to my failure cycle and it was all down hill from here.  It had to happen some time….I was surprised I had lasted this long! Not a single thought that this was a one off and I had done well up to this and it was just a hiccup! I began thinking about, and focusing on, my believed inadequacies….thinking things like….”Who do you think you are to have experience success like this….you couldn’t possibly keep it up!”  “You always start strong, by you can’t maintain it…you never have been able to!”   I made this one exam result mean that I was no good, I was doomed to fail, it would be hard for me to get a good Grade Point Average now!  Typical!

I did finish the course….and I graduated with honours (fantastic really, but I didn’t think so at the time). My Grade Point Average took a hammering in the fourth year; it slipped from 6.7 to a measly 6.2!  It doesn’t sound like much of a slip and a GPA of 6.2 is really good but I can actually remember thinking, “Lucky it was only a four year course!  If I had another year to run, I would be into failure figures!”

I have known for many years that I have had a “shoot myself in the foot” attitude to all things good in my life, but, until now, I never really understood why and I never had any means of doing something about it.  Now I do!

I think I finish every post by expressing my gratitude for being included on the MKMMA course and being surrounded by amazing people….and this post is the same.  Many years of defeatist thinking are being wiped from my blueprint and being replaced with beliefs that I can do anything!  That I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy.

Thank you Mark and fabulous Davine, Luc (my guide) and all the other guides, Jen and Issy, in my Master Mind Group and everyone who has read and/or commented on my blogs…I can’t begin to tell you how grateful to you all I am right now.  You are helping me to change my life!

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